Silent Speaking

Nearly 4 years ago, Mike’s father unexpectedly died from a heart attack. I remember going to eat with a friend weeks after Bert’s death, and telling the friend that I didn’t know if I could trust God anymore. He asked me what it would take for me to believe and I said, “I just want to see God. I want to see a situation so irreversible and horrible that only God can be credited with saving the person or situation. I want to see Him answer prayer or somehow prove that He cares when we cry to Him.” Recently I lamented to several folks that I still hadn’t seen or “felt” God in an undeniable way.

This past weekend I was continued my reading of Job and came across a verse that truly spoke to my heart. One young dude responds to Job’s complaints that God has falsely accused Job and is now ignoring him. The young dude says, “Why do you take Him (God) to court for not answering anything a person asks? For God speaks time and again, but a person may not notice it. In a dream, a vision in the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they slumber on their beds, He uncovers their ears at that time …”

Could it be that God has been speaking and acting and either I’ve been oblivious or I’ve attributed His voice to someone/something else?

China May Want to Re-Translate some Signs

Hand Dance

I love it when someone finds a way to creatively perform a song. enjoy!

An Amazing Guitarist

A friend had a link to this video, and I just watched in amazement. Hope you enjoy!

Strange Rules in Western Europe

I couldn't help but comment on some new rules/laws in Western Europe that I think are very telling about the culture there.

From Amsterdam:
Dog owners angry at public sex plan

Dog owners in Amsterdam are angry after the city legalised public sex in one of the city's most famous parks. But they promised to clampdown on dog owners who let their pets walk in the park without a lead.

One dog owner protested: "As long as the park has existed, we've been allowed to let our dogs run freely. It's outrageous that we will be punished from now on but public sex won't."

And from Italy:
Court Rules Against Public Groping

In a landmark judgment with far-reaching social implications, Italy's highest appeals court has ruled it is a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public.

The judges of the court of cassation stressed that the ban did not just apply to brazen crotch-scratching, but also to what might be termed superstitious pre-emption. Anyone who has seen a hearse go past in Italy, or been part of a discussion in which some terrible illness or disaster is mentioned, will know it is traditional for men to ward off bad luck with a quick grab at what are delicately called their "attributi".

New Website

I haven't seen any comments lately, so I have a feeling this blog dropped off the face of the web. Maybe I should contact Al Gore to fix that for me :)

Anyway, in case anyone cares I now have a family website.

You may notice the "mac" reference - yes, I have crossed to the dark side. Or, as the folks at my local mac store say, "I have seen the light."

Our new website has photos, blogs for me and my husband, info about us, etc.

So check it out if you have some spare time.

Weekend at the Beach

Mike took me to see Celtic Woman (yeah, don't laugh - this was a sacrifice for him), at Virginia Beach, so we decided to make a weekend of it. We had a great time - even if there was a tornado watch in effect for Saturday. Sunday brought amazingly beautiful weather and clear skies. The best part ... our hotel had a balcony that faced the ocean. Hmmm, I could have stayed forever.

standing on a breezy balcony

crazy surfer

drying out my clothes after we were drowned by an unexpected thunderstorm

First signs of spring

Spring won't be here for a few more weeks, but I awoke this morning to find the first signs of her impending visit.

Here are the first sprouts from some vegetable seeds I planted last week

A budding tree

Petite pinkies

I miss

• feeling like I can trust God with anything

• having the confidence of Paul rather than the doubts of Thomas

• my dad’s handkerchief, which seemed magically to appear before the first tear reached my cheek

• God’s joy and presence

• being contented with what I know about God rather than feeling as though I’m missing something

• waking up each day with anticipation and excitement for what adventures the day may hold

Scenes from a recent party

Princess Conner, 4

Korynn, 2

Bert and Jack, 9 mos.

Tyler and Korynn

Old Time Evangelism

Dear lost person

I am concerned for the state of your eternal soul. Have you ever asked Jesus into your heart? No, not your literal heart. I mean your spiritual heart. Yes? Oh good. So you remember every detail about the day you repeated a prayer being led by a certified, licensed Christian. No? Oh dear.

Well surely you at least continued on the path of Christianity by distancing yourself from everyone who could possibly be a bad influence on you, right? I mean, at this stage you’re just a fledgling believer who easily could be misled back to sin and degradation. It might help me to take a peek at your journal to see how closely you’ve followed Jesus’ sayings. What do you mean you don’t have a journal? Didn’t they teach you about writing down your revelations, prayer requests and thoughts about God? And questions don’t count because, as believers, we’re not supposed to question – just accept.

Well, this is truly a sad state of affairs. We may need to take you through a refresher on the Four Spiritual Laws and the ordinance of journaling. It might help, too, for you to go ahead and move out of your neighborhood and find a nice, quiet convent in which to meditate, grow and develop into a fine spiritual leader. You can practice sharing your 5-minute testimony on the deer.

Why I Believe

I've been thinking more about my earlier post and thought I'd share with you part of my journey. I came to the conclusion fairly early in life that there had to be a God. How else do you explain the complexities of life and existence? But how do I make the jump from being an agnostic to being a Christian? Well, I tend to be more analytical than I'd like to admit. See, I know that there were a bunch of guys who faced excruciating deaths because they refused to tell the world that Jesus was a hoax. These men had seen Jesus up close and personal, and even in the face of death they could not deny His existence or character.

What would compel men to forsake all to profess faith in another person? Only the truth: that the other man truly was the Son of God sent to die for the sins of mankind. I can't imagine men accepting torture and death if they knew that Jesus was a hoax. So something about Him must have convinced them to follow Him, even to their own deaths.

But this is my sad confession - perhaps even blasphemous. My faith in God is based more on what I know about Him than what I've experienced. I can't really say I've seen God intervene in an impossible situation and completely turn it around. I don't even know if I could say I've seen a life dramatically transformed by God's presence. And, here come's the blasphemy, I'm not sure I've ever "felt" God like other people say they have.

This saddens me because I want to be someone who testifies of God based on what I've experienced. Unfortunately, after 20 some years of following Him the best I can say is that I follow Him because the evidence has convinced me that there is no other alternative.

Why Believe in God?

Researchers at the University of Oxford are preparing to launch a 3-year study to determine why people believe in God. They want to know whether "belief in a divine being is a basic part of mankind's makeup."

I've never considered the thought that God might not exist. I've met some atheists who challenged me to prove there is a God (like I could), but more interesting would be to see if they could prove He doesn't exist. I've heard many people say they don't believe in a god because if there was one then there wouldn't be the suffering and brokenness we see.

Let's suppose they're right, then. The world's brokenness proves there is no god. But there's still brokenness, poverty, and suffering - so who do we blame now? Greedy people? Indifference? Why can't we blame these attitudes and people for the wrong in the world and still believe there's a god? I guess people want to believe there is a god who would intervene to correct the wrongs in life, but stay out of our business when we want to live according to our own desires and plans. Kind of like a part-time god.

Giant Triumph

Mike is a life-long Giants fan, just like his mum, so last night was quite an evening of celebration in the Conner house.

Early in the game, he was not a happy camper

Our man Eli

Later in the game, Mike couldn't bear to watch

Die-hard fan

History of a knee

About 2 years ago, Mike underwent knee surgery to remove a portion of his Meniscus that was torn while playing indoor soccer. He never recovered full mobility in his knee, and eventually also tore his ACL while playing football. Last week, Mike went in to have ACL reconstructive surgery on his left knee.

Mike waiting for surgery

Recovering post-op

Still sleeping

His new knee

Missing are photos of Mike while recovering at home because, well, he's had a rough recovery. Doctor put him on Diladid - which does a great job at masking the pain but it comes with some nasty side effects. Day 2 after the surgery, Mike was plagued with shakings, heart palpitations, visual hallucinations, panic, nausea and dizziness. Today has been MUCH better. Mike even ventured out for a field trip to Target :) He begins physical therapy tomorrow, and the surgeon is hoping to have him jogging within 10 weeks.

Stupid Scientists

Last week, scientists released a breakthrough study that showed women who consumed 2 or more cups of joe a day were twice as likely to have miscarriages. I'm not pregnant (yet) but hoping that this will change in the near future, I decided I should start weaning myself off the euphoric liquid. To say I'm addicted to caffeine is such an understatement. BUT, last week I cut back to 1 cup of coffee, half regular and half decaf, and 2 more cups of decaf. Maybe I can trick my body into not noticing it's missing it's daily dose of joy.

Emergency Prayer Request

Today I received an email saying a friend who is in Afghanistan was taken hostage while riding in a car in Kandahar. Her name is Cyd - she's a single lady serving there with the Asian Rural Life Development Foundation. She has been there for 3 years teaching English and embroidery at a girl's school. Please pray for the safe return of Cyd and her driver, who also was taken hostage. 

Strolling through the valley

This has been an emotional week. Yesterday was my boss' last day in the office :( He was supposed to be here through the end of the week, so I wasn't expecting to have to say goodbye yesterday. Today me and a co-worker will have lunch with my boss' wife, but then she, too, is leaving the office. I hate goodbyes.

Also, I found this website Confessions of a CF Husband, about a husband and wife's journey through Cystic Fibrosis and the birth of their first child, Gwyneth. While the story may initially sound sad, I have drawn great encouragement and strength by reading about their unshakable faith in the midst of such uncertainty. You should zoom over there to read about Gwyneth Rose, Tricia, Nathan and Spider Pug.

One of the neat-o things about God is that just this week I've been struggling with the concept of prayer, it's importance and purpose, and if it really even matters. I don't approach this question with a fatalistic attitude, but it's birthed out of curiosity about how the simple words voiced from an insignificant person can affect history or influence almighty God. Nathan's transparency regarding his faith and trust in God despite the circumstances has challenged and encouraged me.

The tortures of childhood

My niece, Korynn, just turned 2 years old. Too bad this is what she'll probably remember from that day :)

Thanksgiving with the Jarvises

Ok, so my family is odd. They always have been and always will be - and I kind of like it that way. Here are some photos of me, Brandon (25), Ashton (19) and my parents.