The Day my Dad Passed Me Off as a Miss America Contestant

Years ago my dad and I were driving around Jacksonville when I begged him to go through the Starbucks drive thru. Unfortunately this left him in control of the conversation with the barista.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you?

Dad: World peace.

Barista: Excuse me. Did you say "world peace"?

Dad: Yes. I think it's something we should all hope for.

Barista: Oh I agree. In fact, if you select me as your next Miss America I guarantee every child will have a map so they can find themselves and find inner peace.

Dad: Are you mocking me?

Barista: Oh no, sir. I would never do that. Because that would not help world peace.

Dad: Well I certainly hope you're not mocking that former Miss America contestant. Because that contestant was my daughter.

Barista: (silence) Um. Sir, I'm very sorry. So do you want to try one of our frappaccinos?