Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Rest in my love

Lullaby, hush sweet babe
Close your eyes and drift away
to golden fields and sunny days,
and rest in my love
Dainty curls upon blue sheets
Matchbox cars beneath boy feet
Ragged blankie near pink cheek
Babe, rest in my love
Peace be still, and feel my prayer
Surround him, Lord, and hold him near
Speak to him, a voice so clear
to rest in your love
Swiftly gone, hurried away
Fallow fields and rainy days
Silence screams and my heart breaks
Please remember my love

The Pastor's Business Card

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Fighting the despair

It's been a while, so here's an update. We found out last month that social services had decided to remove Brandon from our home and place him with a family that could care for him and his 2 half-brothers. God, talk about feeling like your heart has been ripped out. Worse, we had no inkling this decision was even being considered. So we wept, we prayed, we even held a dedication ceremony for him with our family. And then Feb. 24 we handed him over to his new family.

I hear he's doing fine and is adjusting to his new daycare. I don't have the heart to ask if he's calling his new parents mamma and dadda yet.

There are days I feel schizophrenic. One moment I can see how this is a good move for Brandon, and that Mike and I will ultimately be ok, too. I also can dream about the future and where God may lead us. But the next moment I find myself heaving sobs and fighting a swelling anger at the injustice of it all. I hear this is called grief.

Today was a good day, and so was yesterday. Tomorrow holds mysteries yet unveiled. All I can offer is a commitment to do my best at focusing on God and forget all that surrounds me.