Wednesday, January 28, 2009

And, and, and ...

We're pregnant! Oh, dear heavens, can it be real? I'm still whirling with the news. Right now we just know it's a positive. I'll go back to the doctor on Friday to recheck the numbers to make sure the HCg is doubling like it should. One nurse said our due date would be Oct. 4, but that seems awfully early. Guess we'll find out at our ultrasound in February.

For now, I'm just going to savor the moment.

Big Day

Today I have my first interview in the "job fair" process of matching me to a new assignment. There are 24 administrative folks who are being displaced, and we are all interviewing for 36 positions. Pro is none of us are losing our jobs. Con is trying to decide where I think I'd be best suited given the job, environment, supervisor and my personality/gifts.

Today I'll also get the first initial results from my blood test. I was told that the results could be inconclusive until Friday's test, but that if the result is negative then that's that.

I told Mike this morning that I really haven't felt stressed or anxious at all, and that's mostly true (I think I had a moment one I started to worry, but that was at least a few days ago :) Now I just sense peace. Even if the result is negative I trust that all is well and I refuse to give up hope. Already God has shown that His timing and methods are usually not what I anticipate, which can make for an eventful life!

Monday, January 26, 2009

The nerve!



Ok, not to be overly dramatic, but I seriously think I've hit this nerve every morning when I go to do my injections on the right side. And if not this nerve, then one like it.

I've tried several different areas on the right side and only once have I been able to do the injection on the first try without feeling like fire is pouring into my backside.

What am I doing wrong?? Ok, maybe this is better answered by a doctor or nurse. But, I've talked to 2 nurses and a doctor about where I'm supposed to be doing the injection and all 3 have given different answers. One nurse said to aim for the bone right above the cheek but before you get to the vertebrae. Another nurse said to do it on the side right above the hip bone. And the dr said to aim for the outer right quadrant of the cheek (which is what the internet said to do but it still hurts!)

I don't mind the injections necessarily; the left side works great and I can finish it in a few minutes with minimal pain. But the right side is not working for me right now.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Job and Bloating (2 not related)

I have my interview with SHR next Wednesday 3-4. For those who don't know, all the administrative jobs in my area are being phased out as of July 1. Thus, SHR is doing a job-fair type of thing whereby they try to match 25 of us newly displaced workers with 36 new job openings. We first interview with SHR, and then the top 4-5 candidates for each job will interview with the prospective managers. Sometime around March 9 we'll find out what jobs we were matched with. So next week's interview is pretty important. Hope I don't say something inflammatory :)

Also, I've been having lots of cramping and bloating since the transfer last Saturday. The dr had said I could expect some of this, but it still has me sort of worried. I did the dreadful thing of checking out a message board, and one lady said her doctor told her progesterone causes the uterus to stretch - thus causing cramping. So I feel a little better about it. I just hate not knowing what is "normal" but I need to relax and simply wait for my blood tests next week to know for sure if the embryos took or not.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Hunka, hunka burnin' love



For the past 3 days I have been battling serious heartburn. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me since I typically have no digestion issues. I mean, this is the girl who went to India and used water for brushing her teeth, who drank from the faucet in Russia, who ate unmentionables in Vietnam, and who hung out with dysentery victims in Uganda and I've NEVER had stomach problems. Thanks to the web I discovered that progesterone (the hormone I've been shooting into my hip twice a day) relaxes the muscle between the esophagus and stomach, thus producing heartburn.

Sadly, the website's recommendation is to cut out caffeine (no coffee) , tomato-based foods (no lasagna or pizza), citrus fruit (no oranges), sodium-high foods (no popcorn) , fried foods (no fried okra) and chocolate (no happiness). Mike said I should start living off of rice cakes.

Oh well. Such a small sacrifice for a good purpose. I welcome any tips, though, from past or current moms who dealt with the same issue.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Today I am ...

- resting and thankful for a successful frozen embryo transplant (FET) this morning

- glad that the doctor showed us how to do the progesterone injections correctly. Turns out my nurse had told Mike the wrong location for the injections, and he's been sticking me near or on a nerve. No wonder they hurt so bad!

- am praying for the 2 wee embryos in me and am excited to think of the future


Thursday, January 08, 2009

Break from injections

A few weeks ago, I received orders from the clinic to start doing Lupron injections. Now, most likely you're new to this whole procedure like I was, so let me tell you ... giving yourself an injection in the tummy is harder than it looks. Most of it is psychological, but I swear that those first few times my knees would feel a little weak as I'd see that long, slender metal tip disappear into the folds of my flesh. I think I'm a pro at it now - right as it's time to stop.

I did the injections for about 21 days. At one point I had a ginormous bruise to the right of my belly button. It was about the same time that I had to have blood drawn for some testing. The blood-drawing techie missed the vein in my arm and decided to go "fishing" for it with her needle. A few days later I had a bruise on my arm the size of a 50 cent piece. That, coupled with my tummy bruise, made for quite a picture. I meant to take a photo so I could one day tell our baby, "Look what mommy went through to have you!" - but I figure guilt-tripping kids isn't the best parenting method.

The bruises have faded (thankfully) and the injections have ceased, for now. Next week starts a whole new round of shots, but these have to be administered in my hip by my lovely husband (who is quite ecstatic at the thought of injecting me). These shots will probably hurt much worse because the needles are about 3 inches long. Good thing I can't see anything when he's doing it!

Even now I can say I know all these injections and procedures will be worth it when we have a sweet baby. Our procedure date is Jan. 17 - just over a week away! We've been waiting for this date for so long that in many ways I can't believe it's right around the corner!!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Bonding



This past New Year's Day, Mike and I had Thursday-Sunday off from work. Four glorious days to do whatever we wanted to do. The first day we lazed about and watched movies, ran errands, enjoyed some alone time. Same for the second day. But by the third day, we were hungry for company. We called some friends ... and left a message. We called family, but they were busy. Finally, we resigned ourselves to meandering through shopping centers and bookstores just to be among other people.

Why is it so hard to develop community and relationships? That's not to say our friendships are shallow and fake. But maybe we don't have enough friends. Or maybe our friendships are more of a casual friendliness rather than deep, day-to-day type of relationships.

Mankind was built to have and enjoy relationships - with each other and with our Father. On lonely days like what we experienced last week, I literally hunger for some kind of human contact - even if it's just for a few hours.

Please don't hear this as a lame plea similar to someone standing on a street corner with a sign that reads, "Be My Friend." Rather, I'm trying to understand if this isolation is global or limited to the US. Also, is there a "cure" or remedy to the problem? How can we go about developing lasting, deep friendships in a culture that values personal space?