Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Day my Dad Passed Me Off as a Miss America Contestant

Years ago my dad and I were driving around Jacksonville when I begged him to go through the Starbucks drive thru. Unfortunately this left him in control of the conversation with the barista.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you?

Dad: World peace.

Barista: Excuse me. Did you say "world peace"?

Dad: Yes. I think it's something we should all hope for.

Barista: Oh I agree. In fact, if you select me as your next Miss America I guarantee every child will have a map so they can find themselves and find inner peace.

Dad: Are you mocking me?

Barista: Oh no, sir. I would never do that. Because that would not help world peace.

Dad: Well I certainly hope you're not mocking that former Miss America contestant. Because that contestant was my daughter.

Barista: (silence) Um. Sir, I'm very sorry. So do you want to try one of our frappaccinos?

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

My Not-So Proud Responses

Many folks have asked, "What did you do when you found out you're having triplets?" So here's my honest list of responses:

  1. I asked for a recount. The doctor initially saw only two babies and at the time I saw only two on the screen. So when the dr said we were having three, I honestly thought he was joking.
  2. I thought, "Um.. this is so not good." Immediately after telling us we were expecting triplets, the dr began a 5 min. speech about everything that could go wrong with me and the babies. He urged us to consider selective reduction.
  3. So here is my shameful admission (just one of many): I actually considered having the selective reduction. I could not imagine carrying, birthing and raising three babies. I imagined years of stress plus loss of complete personal choice. No more vacations, no more date nights, no more easy trips to the park. So I asked the dr for the name and number of a specialist who could tell us about the procedure.
  4. I calmed down and realized there's no way we could do the procedure. This came about from talking to very calming and wise people who were able to talk me off my ledge and reassure me that having 3 babies really is a blessing. Also about this time, I found an article written by a dad who had recently watched two of his 3 babies be eliminated because his wife insisted on doing a selective reduction (see Because of these influences I was able to recognize that we had tried and waited so long for this blessing; how could I then choose 1 or 2 babies to randomly eliminate in order to save the other(s)?
  5. Here is my second embarrassing admission: even though I wasn't willing to have selective reduction, I did pray for God to take 1 of the babies. I told Him I couldn't have 3 babies and I couldn't very well kill one, but if He chose to take one of the babies then I wouldn't grieve too badly. I realize now that I was deluding myself. As soon as I had my hemorrhage, I realized how attached and protective I already had become of the babies I was carrying.
  6. I panicked, panic, still panic - and probably will for the next few years. I think the biggest thing I'm trying to accept is that there's no way I will be able to do everything perfectly. The house will not be as clean as I want, Addie will not be as entertained as she demands and the babies will use more of me than I can imagine. But we will survive. God has blessed us with these babies, and He most certainly will provide everything we need.  It may not always be clean, pretty or perfect but it will be possible.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Fuzzy Teeth vs. Vomit Breath

I need to brush my teeth at least twice a day. Brushing my teeth makes me vomit.

What is a girl to do? I briefly thought about forsaking my teeth but then thought people might avoid me if I approach them with Dragon Breath or green, fuzzy teeth.

Sadly, this tribulation has become so common that - just like Pavlov's dog - my body begins to respond with dry heaves as soon as I think about brushing my teeth. I've tried waiting a few hrs between eating and brushing but that hasn't helped.

It may come to taking a vote: should I forego teeth brushing and adopt fuzzy teeth OR should I brush knowing it'll induce vomiting - which leads to vomit breath?

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Closet Sex Addict

About 6 weeks ago I suffered a minor hemorrhage that turned out to be completely normal. Since that time, however, my normal ob has forbidden me to have sex. Which turns out to be harder than I initially would have thought.

So a few weeks ago, I swallowed my pride and called my doctor's office. You can not imagine my mortification as I asked, "Umm, when she said no sex, did she mean no anything or just no sex?" Thankfully the nurse on call graciously answered my question and urged me to wait until I saw the perinatologist to get his opinion.

Which led to my second sex conversation in three weeks when I asked Dr. C., "Am I allowed to have sex?"

Seriously, I'm starting to feel like a closet sex addict. I wonder if the nurse and Dr. C. left the room and giggled about how this sex-craved pregnant woman keeps inquiring about whether she can have sex, and what exactly is meant by sex.

I won't go into details regarding Dr. C's response, but suffice it to say he is now one of Mike's favorite doctors :)

Friday, May 25, 2012

Baby A and the Badonkadonk Fibroid

Yesterday was our first perinatal visit and we had the great pleasure of seeing Dr. C. Unlike some other doctors we've seen, he didn't pressure us to consider selective reduction, and he was very optimistic regarding the health of me and the triplets. Some things we learned:
  • Baby C is almost certainly a boy
  • Baby B loves having his/her photo taken
  • All babies are about the same length and have similar heart rates
  • Baby B is the one who has been giving me flutters
Toward the end of the ultrasound, the tech saw something troubling. She switched to the Magic Wand and called in Dr. C. For 2 minutes, my heart was pounding as I listened to them consult each other and speculate as to what it was they were seeing. Dr. C. finally said he thinks it's just a fibroid on my uterus. He used some special term but all I heard was Badonkadonk Fibroid. So all is well with that.

Dr. C's parting comment regarded Baby A. He said Baby A's yolk sac is larger than the other two's but not so big that it's in the Danger Zone. When yolk sacs are exceptionally large it can indicate possible chromosomal disorders. So for now we just wait until my next appointment to see if there's been any change. Dr. C said he's not worried - he just mentions the yolk sac as something we'll have to monitor in the future.

So that's where we are. A fairly good report now that we are officially past the first trimester!