I've been thinking more about my earlier post and thought I'd share with you part of my journey. I came to the conclusion fairly early in life that there had to be a God. How else do you explain the complexities of life and existence? But how do I make the jump from being an agnostic to being a Christian? Well, I tend to be more analytical than I'd like to admit. See, I know that there were a bunch of guys who faced excruciating deaths because they refused to tell the world that Jesus was a hoax. These men had seen Jesus up close and personal, and even in the face of death they could not deny His existence or character.
What would compel men to forsake all to profess faith in another person? Only the truth: that the other man truly was the Son of God sent to die for the sins of mankind. I can't imagine men accepting torture and death if they knew that Jesus was a hoax. So something about Him must have convinced them to follow Him, even to their own deaths.
But this is my sad confession - perhaps even blasphemous. My faith in God is based more on what I know about Him than what I've experienced. I can't really say I've seen God intervene in an impossible situation and completely turn it around. I don't even know if I could say I've seen a life dramatically transformed by God's presence. And, here come's the blasphemy, I'm not sure I've ever "felt" God like other people say they have.
This saddens me because I want to be someone who testifies of God based on what I've experienced. Unfortunately, after 20 some years of following Him the best I can say is that I follow Him because the evidence has convinced me that there is no other alternative.