me: hi, Miss Rachel. It's Brittany
Rachel: oh, hello my love! How are you? How are you feeling?
me: good, I'm doing really well.
Rachel: good. Now I ask you, what are you wearing?
me: I'm wearing pants but they're not tight, I promise! (I've bought a belly band and was wearing that, but didn't explain this to Rachel since she probably hates spandex, too).
Rachel: Are you sure? Because if you are wearing tight clothes I won't talk to you again.
me: I promise, Miss Rachel. Do you want me to put my co-worker on the phone? She'll verify this for me.
Rachel: Why are you laughing? This isn't funny. You'll choke the baby.
me: Miss Rachel, the baby is fine. I'm fine. We're doing great.
Rachel: ok, ok. You probably shouldn't be at work, either. You need to lay down right now.