Monday, March 11, 2013

Warring Against the Dark

Sleep is a funny thing. It allows our brains to shut off and rest. It also allows our defenses to rest, too, so that we are more prone to attacks and dreams. Recently, I started having dreams about overdosing on pills. I recall the exact number and type of pills, and even recall the sensation I felt in the dream as I drifted off to sleep knowing I would never wake again.

Before anyone calls the police, please rest assured - I have no plans to off myself. I think the dream is an indication that the depression I'm fighting is more than just a chemical imbalance; it also is a spiritual fight.

My husband had the best motivation, though. He told me if I kill myself then he's putting the babies up for adoption.

God, I love that man.

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