17 wks photos

Tick Treatise

Dear Ticks

I know I'm succulent. And with my extra blood volume at the moment, I probably set off your radars as soon as I venture outside. How else to explain that I can acquire 2 of you critters after a 5 min. walk outside while others have nary a tick despite spending hours outdoors?

But I have one small request: can you please attach yourself to a part of my body that is north of my belly button? Since I'm quickly losing sight of anything below my belly, it's really not fair of you to imbed yourself in an area I can't even see let alone protect. At least if you are on my torso or higher, I have a fighting chance at locating you and dislodging you before I contract Rocky Mtn. Spotted Fever or the bubonic plague.

Thank you.

Introducing ...

Alwanda

Bernice

Cletus

Group shot

We had our 16-wk check up with the perinatologist and found out we are having two girls and a boy! Mike already is dreading the dating years and paying for 3 weddings, but overall we're thrilled. All the babies look healthy and great - even Baby A, who the dr had a slight concern about last time.

Here's a rundown of what we learned:

• each baby weighs about 5 oz.
• Alwanda is positioned really low right now, so dr said I am still at risk for cramping and bleeding until she moves up more in the uterus
• Alwanda and Cletus are positioned head to head and will probably end of smacking each other a lot
• Cletus wants all the world to know he's a boy. We didn't even have to do a btw-the-legs shot to see him waving his flag :)
• Dr. said he will severely limit my activity in about 4 wks.
• He also said I need to gain more weight. By week 20 I should look to be full-term pregnant with 1 baby

Dear children, I apologize in advance

It's true: you can't choose your family. Lucky for me, I wouldn't choose any other. Where else would I inherit such an anthology of family lore and stories - which I have chosen to share with you?

• I had a great great uncle who killed his wife with a hammer
• My grandma fell out of a moving car 
• My grandpa had his head run over by a car; his father was driving
• My dad once thought the best way to kill fire ants on a tree was to set the tree on fire
• My dad also thought it would be cool to soak his hand in lighter fluid and set that on fire, too
• My dad has seen the inside of Disney's jail; he was caught trying to steal a souvenir
• My brother was caught ordering alcohol on a plane; he was in high school and it was a church-sponsored trip
• My parents accidentally locked my infant brother in the car. During Mardi Gras.
• My other brother was part of a break-dancing group. When he moved to a small country town, he told the guidance counselor about his hobby - to which she replied, "We have the rodeo here."
• One night when I was in middle school, I broke curfew to watch Star Trek: TNG. My dad confronted me and said, "It's just a show." To which I screamed, "No it's not, and someday I'm going to be on it!!"
• I broke my dad's hand wrestling for the remote control
• My brother has 1 dimple, which occurred when my elbow met his face while jumping on a trampoline
• I went to college thinking you could get pregnant by swimming in water with boys
• My mom swore to us kids that it was safe to swim in rivers that had gators in them because "gators always stay on the riverbank."
• The first time my husband met my family, we went skiing in a gator-infested creek. All was fun and games until a gator popped up next to my brother who was preparing to knee board. My dad gunned the engine as my bro. held on to the rope for dear life. Once we stopped, my other bro proceeded to toss bread into the water and call out "Here, gator gator." To this day Mike thinks my family is crazy.

Life Lessons from Florida

• When ordering tea at a Mexican restaurant, do not ask if they brew their tea - unless you enjoy blank stares as you try to mime brewing tea to the non-English speaking waiter
• If your brother starts a sentence with, "Remember when I used to entertain myself in the shower ..." - run
• Afternoon rain showers may involve hail, thunder, and wind - or a 5 min. sprinkle. Either way, you'll see some kind of precipitation when you are preparing to go swimming
• Have an explanation prepared for when your toddler daughter points at a group of women at the beach and says, "Look, mommy! Whales!" In this instance, she was trying to say "waves."
• I need to invest in an inventer who can create a portable personal cooling system that will aid pregnant women who are visiting hell ... I mean, Florida

I will be right here waiting for you

A few nights ago, I dreamt Mike and I were participating in a couples retreat when the leader announced we would be hiking. I absolutely refused to go. I dug my heels in with every ounce of stubbornness I could muster and said it was the stupidest idea ever. Mike didn't comment or argue; he simply shrugged and continued walking with the group. Several minutes later, I felt guilty about how my choice would leave Mike all alone in a group of couples, so I decided to join the group. I finally caught up with them, but when I searched for Mike I couldn't find him. I abandoned my fruitless search and fumed my way back to the car - determined to wait for him while my anger seethed.

And then I saw him.

Sitting on a rock along the path, Mike was patiently waiting for me to come back. Before I could say a word he said, "I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't want to go, we won't."

My dream was a perfect echo of Mike's attitude these past few months. Time and again he has gone along with whatever idea I concocted or request I made. He purchased me a new body pillow when I couldn't find my old one because he heard me talking about how uncomfortable I already was becoming. He allows me to pick most meals and/or restaurants knowing my stomach has been touchy lately. And he made a split-second decision to take off a week from work and drive to FL in order to scout out jobs in Jax - because I decided I needed to be near my mom and dad. At every turn, he has been more than patient. He has been accommodating, comforting, encouraging and inconvenienced.

I have a lot I can learn from him. Namely, how to be as flexible and unselfish as he has been toward me.

I get by with a little help from my friends

The past week has seen its shares of highs and lows. We had a safe trip to FL and are enjoying time with my family (yay!) But Mike has been disappointed on every front in his job search. I said from the beginning that I was willing to take God's closed doors as much as His open ones, and if He directs us away from Jax then so be it. But it's a lot easier for me to say that when I'm not the one running into the closed doors. Unfortunately, Mike is experiencing some really low lows.

But in the midst of our confusion and disappointments, God has encouraged me from unexpected sources. A former co-worker, Mark Kelly, very graciously sent a call to prayer to friends and supporters. His email has generated lots of other emails and words of prayer and encouragement for us - which mean more than I can explain. Mark also has offered to serve as a sounding board for us since he doesn't have a stake in whether we stay in Richmond or move - he simply wants to advise, listen and encourage.

Another friend, Danielle, has been so sweet to send me emails of prayers and to continue checking on us. She and her husband, Dennis, have time and again called, texted, emailed and reached out to us at just the moments when we needed a friendly pick me up.

Tonya hates to think of us moving but continues to pray for us. Already she has talked about making meals for us in the event that I have to go on an unplanned bed rest. Without any prompting or requests, she already is putting feet to prayers and is offering whatever help she can.

I am so very grateful to all those who have prayed, written, or thought of us while we continue on our journey. We honestly don't know where we will land, but knowing we have so many supporters assures me that our landing will be soft.

If only...

If only it was one less baby ...
If only I was stronger ...
If only my family wasn't so far away ...

then maybe we wouldn't be thinking of moving
then maybe I wouldn't continually hear "I hope this isn't a bad decision"
then maybe I wouldn't be disappointing so many people

If only the story was different then maybe I wouldn't be the villain

Cuddly sheep and heart attacks

When I was pregnant with Addie, I dreamt cute, cuddly dreams. One in particular featured a bus ride with a friend as we meandered past a field filled with sweater-wearing sheep (see illustration). The sheep were so cute in their pink, blue and purple sweaters! I then left the bus and walked to a nearby farm where I enjoyed a down-home dinner with friendly strangers.

Oh, I also frequently dreamed that I had taken up smoking but was trying to hide it from Mike.

This pregnancy hasn't been at all the same - including in the dream world. This week alone I experienced my first night-terror followed by a wacky dream in which I was on trial after being falsely accused. I don't recall the specifics regarding the terror dream, only that I awoke with a pounding heart that took 20 minutes to calm. After that, if I even thought the word "dream" my heart would begin racing again.

If I were into dream interpretation I'd say the first dream meant I was looking forward to the soft, cuddly aspects of a new baby and that I was at peace. I also was hungry.

The second dream probably means I was either hiding something from Mike (I honestly can't remember doing so) or that I was longing for a time I could be rebellious.

This week's dreams indicate I'm in a time of panic. Also, there's a good chance I'll be forced to fight off someone in Florida who is trying to eat my face.

VA vs. FL

I make lists for EVERYTHING. To do lists, pro/con lists, grocery lists. Honestly, I'm not sure I'd remember most tasks or ideas if I didn't have a pencil and pad near me at all times.

But how is it that my life currently seems to be laid out in a VA vs. FL list? When we first discovered we were pregnant with triplets, I was ready to pack my bags and move to Jacksonville to be near my parents. No way was I going through this without their help. And after talking to several moms of twins, I was even more convinced that I would need their help.

A few weeks ago, though, I began to feel like maybe staying in VA was the best option. Our friends, church and Mike's job are here - not to mention Mike's family. So I suddenly swung my opinion in favor of staying.

Well, as of this week we no longer have Mike's job as a string tying us to VA. Since he resigned, we now are left to consider where he will find the best opportunities for work: FL or VA. Also, my mom has said she's sure we would find a strong base of support in FL if we were to move there. So now I'm back on the fence. This is my current list:

VA Pros:

• approx. 10 families we think we can count on for moral support and assistance (like meals, baby holding, etc)
• Mike's mom and siblings
• our church family
• beautiful greenery (hey, it's a consideration!)
• familiarity. We already have drs., play groups, routines, etc. all right here

FL Pros:

• my family (mom, dad, siblings, cousins, aunt)
• beaches
• possibility of building support system through my parents' church
• did I mention my parents? Because, really, this is a biggie. If we stay in VA, one of my parents can maybe come help for a month so that there will be 4 adults tackling the crazy midnight feeding schedule that I'm anticipating. If we go to FL, though, there will be 4 adults to tackle the schedule for far longer than just a month.

And in all of this Mike and I continue to pray, pray, pray. Ultimately we want to be where God wants us. Also, we know we're in a time crunch because I have maybe just 3 more months to make such a move before I'm the size of a house and lose sight of my feet. So for now the list remains unfinished and I remain undecided. 

The Day my Dad Passed Me Off as a Miss America Contestant

Years ago my dad and I were driving around Jacksonville when I begged him to go through the Starbucks drive thru. Unfortunately this left him in control of the conversation with the barista.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you?

Dad: World peace.

Barista: Excuse me. Did you say "world peace"?

Dad: Yes. I think it's something we should all hope for.

Barista: Oh I agree. In fact, if you select me as your next Miss America I guarantee every child will have a map so they can find themselves and find inner peace.

Dad: Are you mocking me?

Barista: Oh no, sir. I would never do that. Because that would not help world peace.

Dad: Well I certainly hope you're not mocking that former Miss America contestant. Because that contestant was my daughter.

Barista: (silence) Um. Sir, I'm very sorry. So do you want to try one of our frappaccinos?

My Not-So Proud Responses

Many folks have asked, "What did you do when you found out you're having triplets?" So here's my honest list of responses:

1. I asked for a recount. The doctor initially saw only two babies and at the time I saw only two on the screen. So when the dr said we were having three, I honestly thought he was joking.
2. I thought, "Um.. this is so not good." Immediately after telling us we were expecting triplets, the dr began a 5 min. speech about everything that could go wrong with me and the babies. He urged us to consider selective reduction.
3. So here is my shameful admission (just one of many): I actually considered having the selective reduction. I could not imagine carrying, birthing and raising three babies. I imagined years of stress plus loss of complete personal choice. No more vacations, no more date nights, no more easy trips to the park. So I asked the dr for the name and number of a specialist who could tell us about the procedure.
4. I calmed down and realized there's no way we could do the procedure. This came about from talking to very calming and wise people who were able to talk me off my ledge and reassure me that having 3 babies really is a blessing. Also about this time, I found an article written by a dad who had recently watched two of his 3 babies be eliminated because his wife insisted on doing a selective reduction (see http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/after-ivf-we-became-pregnant-with-triplets-then-my-wife-had-two-of-the-babi) Because of these influences I was able to recognize that we had tried and waited so long for this blessing; how could I then choose 1 or 2 babies to randomly eliminate in order to save the other(s)?
5. Here is my second embarrassing admission: even though I wasn't willing to have selective reduction, I did pray for God to take 1 of the babies. I told Him I couldn't have 3 babies and I couldn't very well kill one, but if He chose to take one of the babies then I wouldn't grieve too badly. I realize now that I was deluding myself. As soon as I had my hemorrhage, I realized how attached and protective I already had become of the babies I was carrying.
6. I panicked, panic, still panic - and probably will for the next few years. I think the biggest thing I'm trying to accept is that there's no way I will be able to do everything perfectly. The house will not be as clean as I want, Addie will not be as entertained as she demands and the babies will use more of me than I can imagine. But we will survive. God has blessed us with these babies, and He most certainly will provide everything we need.  It may not always be clean, pretty or perfect but it will be possible.

Fuzzy Teeth vs. Vomit Breath

I need to brush my teeth at least twice a day. Brushing my teeth makes me vomit.

What is a girl to do? I briefly thought about forsaking my teeth but then thought people might avoid me if I approach them with Dragon Breath or green, fuzzy teeth.

Sadly, this tribulation has become so common that - just like Pavlov's dog - my body begins to respond with dry heaves as soon as I think about brushing my teeth. I've tried waiting a few hrs between eating and brushing but that hasn't helped.

It may come to taking a vote: should I forego teeth brushing and adopt fuzzy teeth OR should I brush knowing it'll induce vomiting - which leads to vomit breath?

Closet Sex Addict

About 6 weeks ago I suffered a minor hemorrhage that turned out to be completely normal. Since that time, however, my normal ob has forbidden me to have sex. Which turns out to be harder than I initially would have thought.

So a few weeks ago, I swallowed my pride and called my doctor's office. You can not imagine my mortification as I asked, "Umm, when she said no sex, did she mean no anything or just no sex?" Thankfully the nurse on call graciously answered my question and urged me to wait until I saw the perinatologist to get his opinion.

Which led to my second sex conversation in three weeks when I asked Dr. C., "Am I allowed to have sex?"

Seriously, I'm starting to feel like a closet sex addict. I wonder if the nurse and Dr. C. left the room and giggled about how this sex-craved pregnant woman keeps inquiring about whether she can have sex, and what exactly is meant by sex.

I won't go into details regarding Dr. C's response, but suffice it to say he is now one of Mike's favorite doctors :)

Baby A and the Badonkadonk Fibroid

Yesterday was our first perinatal visit and we had the great pleasure of seeing Dr. C. Unlike some other doctors we've seen, he didn't pressure us to consider selective reduction, and he was very optimistic regarding the health of me and the triplets. Some things we learned:

• Baby C is almost certainly a boy
• Baby B loves having his/her photo taken
• All babies are about the same length and have similar heart rates
• Baby B is the one who has been giving me flutters

Toward the end of the ultrasound, the tech saw something troubling. She switched to the Magic Wand and called in Dr. C. For 2 minutes, my heart was pounding as I listened to them consult each other and speculate as to what it was they were seeing. Dr. C. finally said he thinks it's just a fibroid on my uterus. He used some special term but all I heard was Badonkadonk Fibroid. So all is well with that.

Dr. C's parting comment regarded Baby A. He said Baby A's yolk sac is larger than the other two's but not so big that it's in the Danger Zone. When yolk sacs are exceptionally large it can indicate possible chromosomal disorders. So for now we just wait until my next appointment to see if there's been any change. Dr. C said he's not worried - he just mentions the yolk sac as something we'll have to monitor in the future.

So that's where we are. A fairly good report now that we are officially past the first trimester!

Season's Firsts

First apple 

First bubbles

First eggs

First ponytail

First skinned knee

Just a cute photo

Living Alone, Dying Aloner

Our street is fairly secluded, with just three houses constituting our neighborhood. Our neighbor across the street lives in his other house during the weekends, and returns here during the week. He works long hours but we occasionally see him lounging on his porch petting our cat (who thinks he belongs to the neighbors - but that's another story).

Our nearby neighbor lived alone and was rarely seen. He was very kind and friendly when we would pass him on the street, but we often joked that Lamar could die and no one would know. He had no living family and we never saw anyone visiting at his house.

This past Monday our prediction came true. Lamar died on March 24 but wasn't discovered for four days. His obituary did not list names of any relatives or friends, and made a passing comment to a car club to which he belonged.

I don't know Lamar's situation and do not know if his loneliness was by choice or by situation. But I know it is sad to think of someone going days without connecting with another human being, and even worse to think someone could die and not be missed for several days.

Cutest Tempest

I must say, the tantrums are coming fewer each day and with less ferocity. Maybe she's starting to outgrow them (or at least realize they are not achieving her goals).

Days like today, though, remind me of how much I love just being home with my wee lil lass.

Positive side of tantrums

My daughter loves a good tantrum, and really, who doesn't? Sometimes she indulges in a good head-wack, heel-thump just for the heck of it. Once in a blue moon I discover the source of her malcontent. Often, though, I'm left confounded. Was it the grapes? Did she want the blue shirt instead of the red? What does "uhhh" mean?

It's very easy for me to get frustrated and whisper, "What is wrong with you?" After 3 tantrums within the first hour of her waking, I sometimes wonder if she enjoys slamming her head on the floor.

So I take a breath and force myself to think of the positive side of tantrums.

1. My daughter is very passionate. I honestly think part of her frustration is that she has more energy and emotion than she knows how to express.

2. My daughter has conviction. She knows what she wants and is not easily swayed. This will be a great characteristic when she's older and is faced with temptation to do what she knows to be wrong.

3. My daughter is tenacious. She won't be one to quickly relinquish her goals or desires. She will be the one who runs full out toward her destination even if everyone else stops and tries to rein her in.

4. My daughter is tough. She bounds back from superficial wounds as though they were mere flesh wounds. She does not worry over scratches, bumps, bruises or scuffs. She's a fighter, and she's tough.

5. My daughter is uniquely gifted and crafted by God. He will have His hands full trying to teach her submission. I have a feeling, though, that once she falls passionately in love with her Creator there will be nothing holding her back. We are in for an exciting journey!

I blame the vitamins

Two sinus infections in a month. This, after going nearly a year without neither sniffle nor sneeze. And the topper is that typically, my daughter inherits whatever infection I catch. Sometimes she's kind enough to stagger her cold with mine, but occasionally she thinks misery loves company and she times her sickness to coincide with mine.

After much investigative thinking (conducted while curled up in bed watching "Pride and Prejudice" - the one with Keira Knightly), I have found the problem.

I blame the vitamins.

Seems all this sickness began about the time I started taking vitamins on a regular basis. Silly me listened to my doctor and husband who insisted that I take vitamins.

Ha, I say, ha! Maybe even a "fie!" just to round it out.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go drink some Hillbilly Cough Medicine and snuggle with a pillow.