It's nearly midnight and rather than sleeping a restful, dreamless sleep, I am worrying. Actually, I'm emotionally panicking. Mike and I prayed before bed and he tried to reassure me. Unfortunately, the fears are a lot louder than reason or even prayers.
1. We're trying to sell our car so we can get a minivan. But what if the car doesn't sell?
2. What if the babies are born too early and have to spend weeks in the NICU? How will I care for them while also tending to Addie? How will we pay the bills? What if the babies have severe health issues?
3. What if the babies go full term and come home with me from the hospital? How will I cope with going from just 1 child to 4 with no transition, plus still heal from the c-section?
4. I need to buy bottle nipples and a bottle warmer. And get baby soap. Do I have enough blankets? Oh, and I probably should put sheets on the cribs.
5. My body aches and my innards are very unhappy with me. On the brightside, I haven't been awaken by choking on my vomit in at least 4 days.
6. I suddenly feel very alone. I miss our friends in RVA. I'm very, very grateful for the people we've met in Jacksonville and I hope those relationships become deep friendships - the kind that can withstand me calling them at midnight to talk through my emotional panicking. Right now, though, I feel alone.
7. Oh my goodness. We're having triplets.