When I say my kids would be better off if I was passed out drunk, what I mean is:
* I realize most of what I've said today has been harmful, and I'd rather be incapacitated than hurting those I love
* I wish I could clock out for a few hours and not have any repercussions
* I just spent 10 minutes looking for my herd only to discover one sucking on pee-soaked toilet paper fresh from the toilet, one smearing chocolate on her face and hair, and one toppling a DVD shelf
* I wish for just a moment I could be not responsible - or, as my father would say, irresponsible - for four curious, active, precious children
* I wish I could hit reset on the day and love my kids better
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